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| Feel free to comment on Alien.
| | Comment or the Aliens will invade... |
| :DEOXYS! YES{{User:Darth Cookie Monster/Sig}} | | ==EVADE?== |
| I had a feeling you would comment Cookie-san...
| | <ab>Invade is what you mean, right? |
| | Invade: Attacking a planet to take control of it |
| | Evade: Dodge</ab> |
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| {{User:AKgirl/Sig}}20:35, 21 March 2008 (UTC) | | Please remember, or the FM-ians will invade YOU. After Earth, of course. '''<sc>[[User:Optimus35|{{tt|Optimatum♏|Optimus35}}]]</sc><sup><span style=" color:navy">[[User talk:Ph34r4ever|Talk]]|[[User:Optimus35/sig/Pikachu|♊]]</span></sup>{{{1|09:58 28 Mar 2008}}}''' |
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| == You know... ==
| | :No i mean invade. I know i mean... [[User:AKgirl|<span style="color:#FF1493">AK</span>]][[User talk:AKgirl|<span style="color:#FC0FC0">girl</span>]]13:06, 28 March 2008 (UTC) |
| | | ::Good. -invades Earth- '''<sc>[[User:Optimus35|{{tt|Optimatum♏|Optimus35}}]]</sc><sup><span style=" color:navy">[[User talk:Ph34r4ever|Talk]]|[[User:Optimus35/sig/Pikachu|♊]]</span></sup>{{{1|13:09 28 Mar 2008}}}''' |
| One of the worst things you could do in a story is put in big, bold letters '''FLASHBACK'''. There are better ways to do it. Like, possibly, "Aeria remembered what had been said about Deoxys at one time..." or something. Make it flow. '''FLASHBACK''' and '''END OF FLASBACK''' tags are some of the most-mocked things on the internet.
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| And you could make your chapters longer... I mean, I barely have to scroll and I've hit Chapter 2. If the chapters are that short, well, expand on them! Describe more. What is Aeria, besides an alien? Surely her species must call themselves something. And there's gotta be more to her than just having purple antenna-ears and fairy wings. Make sure to divide up the dialog, too; make sure it isn't "blah blah" said someone. "blah" said someone else. Put it into separate lines if it's different characters. For example:
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| "My name is Ash! I'm a Pokémon Trainer from Pallet Town!" the boy stated triumphantly. | |
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| His blue-haired companion piped up: "And I am Dawn, on my way to be the best Coordinator in Sinnoh!"
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| Their third companion had seemed to have disappeared, as far as Harriet knew, until her hand was grabbed. "I'm Brock, and I think we could make beautiful music togeth—"
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| Suddenly, Brock's Croagunk stabbed him in the gut. Brock, paralyzed, fell to the ground with a groan while Ash and Dawn sighed, unsurprised.
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| But hey. You're doing all right. After all, you're making the effort to spell stuff well, and unlike some, actually divide up paragraphs (Greatest pitfall to many fanfic writers? Wall of text.). But certainly, you have room to improve as we all do. Even Shakespeare's earliest works were pretty crappy, and look how he turned out.
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| So yeah. That's... all I've got. Continue. '''[[User:TTEchidna|<span style="color:#FF0000">''TTE''</span>]][[User talk:TTEchidna|chidna]][[Image:Ani155MS.gif|Fire echy]]''' 21:08, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
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Comment or the Aliens will invade...
EVADE?
Invade is what you mean, right?
Invade: Attacking a planet to take control of it
Evade: Dodge
Please remember, or the FM-ians will invade YOU. After Earth, of course. Optimatum♏Talk|♊09:58 28 Mar 2008
- No i mean invade. I know i mean... AKgirl13:06, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
- Good. -invades Earth- Optimatum♏Talk|♊13:09 28 Mar 2008
