Who are you?
Hi, I'm Werdnae. I'm a former Editor-in-Chief. Other staff members can probably answer your questions better and quicker. Feel free to go bug them instead. You're welcome to ask me, but I might just direct you to someone else. The best way to contact me is on my talk page.
I also enjoy fiddling with templates, and templates are my focus area as a result.
Teach me how to code templates/my userpage!
I don't have the time to individually coach people to build a template. The best way to learn wikicode is to take an existing template, copy the code to your userspace or similar and preview changes to it. You can tell what the code does by what stops working when you remove it.
For your userpage, that's something I will not do. If a template you are using is broken, and you have checked the template's talk page to see how it works, I can advise you how to fix it. I will not turn diagrams or walls of text into code for you. Nor will most (if not all) other staff. You must learn the code by the above method and make it yourself. You may use the code on this page to do so, however if you base something on your page on the code here, you must credit me in the edit summary. Other users should be asked before you use their code.