Talk:EP138
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I did a fairly long synopsis. Do you think it needs to be shorter?
Synopsis
The synopsis for this episode is poor in quality and really needs to be cleaned up. I put a slight dent in what needs to be rectified by completely re-writing the first three sections, but there is a good deal more work to be done. Here are some of the problems that I noticed:
- Run-on sentences:
- "Meowth attacks with his Fury Swipes but Gligar jumps away and Meowth lands a swipe right across Jessie's face and Jessie instantly responds by giving Meowth her version of Fury Swipes."
- Unnecessary repetition of adjectives, names or phrases in general.
- "It looks like the heroes are in trouble as Pikachu can't attack for fear of electrocuting the heroes as well."
- "Jessie and James comment that they have never heard of him which embarrasses Gligarman, Meowth then asks why Gligarman is wearing long underwear which embarrasses the Gligarman further."
- The example above is also one of a poorly constructed 'sentence', as it is in fact two sentences incorrectly connected with a comma. It should resemble:
- "Jessie and James explain that they have never heard of Gligarman while Meowth further embarrasses him by asking why he is dressed in long underwear."
Vipera 04:35, 28 October 2009 (UTC)
