While I have refrained from obscene language on this page, I still may have posted a Pokémon or two that you like. Needless to say, I don't care if I hurt your feelings, but I do respect your opinions anyway. So, NO. I will not remove <insert Pokémon> because it's your favorite, but I welcome you to yell at me all you want on the talk page.
Generation I, the Gen that started it all. Despite listing Pokemon here, I can't hate most of these guys too much. I grew up with them! But even from the start, for one reason or another, sometimes a Pokemon just rubs me the wrong way, and I don't like it.
|Pokémon||Original sprite||Current sprite||Why?|
|Raticate||You're a beginning trainer learning the ropes. Rattata is everywhere and these things learned Quick Attack early. The opposing trainers loved to use it on the weak new trainer. Even as the game goes on, these things never go away. They're fast, and they have Super Fang (and in Generation IV, Sucker Punch). Now, Raticate can do some nifty things, and getting beaten by a Raticate has to hurt, but when you're playing single player, there's far better Pokemon to use, and they're pretty annoying to get used against you.|
|Pikachu||The mascot, and even the messiah for some kids. Kids, face the facts, Pikachu is awful. I will say, it is fast, hits decently hard (with Light Ball that is), and Raichu isn't the worst thing in the game but, there's better choices. If Pikachu wasn't the mascot, it would just be a generic middle evolution, but no, it IS the mascot, so this otherwise mundane electric rodent is everywhere.|
|Clefable||What we have here is a failure to design a Pokemon. They just took Clefairy and stretched it out, making istreally bland, awkward Pokemon. I really don't have much to say about Clefable because I find it so bland. Bland design, bland appearance, stats, cry, evolution relatives! It's movepool isn't bland, and it has Magic Guard (one of my favorite abilities), but why bother? It's stats are too mundane to do anything significant. Though, you might be able to put your opponent to sleep. No, not from Sing, but from how boring it looks.|
|Hypno||I just don't like Hypno. It's goofy looking, its cry is too long, its stats are terrible. Shamefully, I don't have much to say on this one. I guess I could say that Gen I gave us a ton of Psychic-types, and Hypno sits at the bottom of the stack, especially after the Special split of Gen I. Besides, how can anyone like a kidnapper?|
|Electrode||High speed means it will either paralyze you or blow up in your face before you get to attack. Low attack means that it will do hardly any damage. Add to that they're inability to learn Electric-type attacks by level-up (until Gen III and nothing terribly good as of now), and you've got one useless Pokémon. Voltorb and Electrode are the same thing, fast and pointless. Possibly my most hated of Generation I.|
|Chansey||It's incredibly stupid looking for one (that first gen sprite doesn't help), and at the time, it was insanely hard to get a hold of. Moreover, you'd think that because they were so hard to find, they would be super useful, and to people who don't like playing the game, they are! I hate walls...a wall to me is someone who refuses to play. Stalling your opponent into submission is just a waste of time. We play the games to have fun. Sitting there, wasting time as you damage it, and it heals it off is not fun, its boring.|
|Jynx||Let me be clear. This has nothing to do with race, the Nordic people, Vikings, Ganguro, Yamanba, Zwarte Piet, opera singers, Yuki-onna, or frostibe. It has nothing to do with any of them because we still don't know what Jynx is based off of, and even so, it would be ridiculous for me to hate it for what it's based on (specific exceptions aside). No, regardless what it's based on, it's hideous, it has a stupidly long cry, and it's overall just a creepy Pokemon. Especially in it's 3D appearances. I think Jynx was just a bad idea from the start and it's certainly proven unnecessarily troublesome for Nintendo as well.|
The stunningly good sequel to the original games brought forth some new changes in both color, gameplay, mechanics, stats, locations, and of course, new Pokemon. As with Gen I, I remember Gen II quite fondly and don't truly hate all of the Pokemon on this list. But that doesn't mean I can't hold some animosity, right?
|Pokémon||Original sprite||Current sprite||Why?|
|Chikorita||I love it when I hate a Pokemon everyone else likes. Chikorita is well loved by the fans, and personally, I can't stand it. It checks off a number of my boxes. No, I don't think it's ugly, but it's evolution line are defensive Grass-types. Right off the bat, I don't like walls, and I don't like Grass-types. This is just dead weight to me. Meganium is by no means the worst Pokemon ever, and even Chikorita isn't completely awful, but I never ever liked them. Also, I found its jealous personality in the anime to just be really annoying.|
|Lanturn||A disgrace to the Electric-type. Blatantly fraternizing with the enemy (Water-type). And what do we get out of this equation? A garbage Pokémon. True, it functions well as a wall thanks to its huge HP, but that's no fun. Meet these things in single player and they're more likely to paralyze you than fight you, probably because they can't do any real damage. The idea of an angler fish Pokemon is fine, but Lanturn always struck me as a lazy execution. Incidentally, Link's Awakening contained an Angler Fish boss that was similarly flawed. Looked scary but a real pushover.|
|Ampharos||Let me make something clear about Ampharos. I don't dislike it because of what it is. I dislike it because of what it isn't, and what it isn't is Mareep or Flaaffy. Ampharos is slow, but otherwise meh, and design wise its meh as well, but the fact of the matter is that Mareep and Flaaffy are awesome, and Ampharos....just isn't.|
|Marill||You know, I can't describe why I hate Marill, I just do. I want to punt one like a football. Could be all the hype of "Pikablu", and my natural hatred of Pikachu. If I had to place some reason for blame, their stats don't help. You see, the Marill family are all sorta tanks, and I HATE tanks. I don't know why Game Freak felt the need to give it Pure Power. Admittedly, it does take an otherwise useless Pokemon and make it a little less useless, but certainly not for me. Side note: Due to a humerous incident in Melee, my friends and I call Marill an Argentinian Assassin. No, details will not be given why.|
|Hoppip||A Flying-type that can't learn Fly better be really good otherwise. Right out of the gate we have a problem. Add to that Hoppip's useless attack stats, and common weaknesses, and you've got the butt of a joke. Actually, "attacking" is a bit of a joke because Hoppip's hobby seems to be Splashing about. When it turns into Jumpluff, it becomes fast. That's really annoying given that all Grass-types ever do is deal a status ailment. It's main purpose in battle is to be annoying. Awesome.|
|Aipom||What was I just saying about Chikorita? Something about fan favorites... Yea, people won't like this one, but I just hate Aipom. I think it's stupid, ugly, and in the anime (the one I don't watch), it was very annoying. I'm also not a fan of monkeys (this is a specific exception I mentioned in the Jynx summary). Generation IV gave us a new evolution and you can view my thoughts on it in my Gen IV section below. I think you get my point.|
|Quagsire||Good type combo + bad stats + Electric-type trainer = I detest Quagsire. Wooper can go shove it too. Every Water-type in Generation I was weak to Electric, so they needed a way to balance it out. Thus, Wooper and Quagsire were born. It really does seem like they phoned it in on these two. They made the type combo, but couldn't be bothered to actually program any real purpose, other than it's type. It looks idiotic, has paint by number stats, and is generally a nuisance more than a real threat.|
|Wobbuffet||Not only is it stupid looking, but thanks to Shadow Tag, if you encounter one in the wild, you've just lost a team member. During single play, that's really, REALLY annoying. It downright ticks me off. The fact they threw MORE of them into the wild (notably in Ruin Valley) is really infuriating. Did they realize they were making the most annoying Pokemon of all time? And if so, WHY DID THEY DO IT? I also like how they gave it a prevo....then banned it. Nice.|
|Corsola||Hahahahahaha, Corsola is terrible. I mean really, what were they thinking? How could Game Freak possibly think this was going to work? Corsola had to be filler. They took a hunk of coral, painted half of it pink, put a happy little face on it, and dropped it into the ocean. I think they even forgot they made it because I never encountered one in the game until after I beat the E4 and accidentally fished one up. The hate here stems from the fact it exists at all.|
|Delibird||Hahahahahaha, Delibird is disastrously terrible. You know what the worst part about Delibird is? Unlike Corsola, I bet they actually DID put effort into Delibird, and that makes it hilariously pathetic. Delibird's design is a curious one, and it could have played an interesting role had they gave it something to to. It may have been made solely as a plot device in the anime actually. That's the only medium where Delibird has any use whatsoever.|
|Blissey||Blissey is the definition of pain in the ass and will forever be a massive (both figuratively, and literally) blob of hell. Its mere presence is enough to cause some people to fall into deep depression just from the knowledge that their opponent refuses to fight. All Blissey does is waste your time, and ruin the fun. It will forever torment its opponent with apathy as it soaks up any Special based attack, and then just heals it all away. Forever. FOR-E-VER. FOR-E-VER. FOR-E-VER. Easily my most hated Pokemon of Generation II, and one of, if not the, most hated of all Pokemon.|
|Celebi||Let me get this out of the way. No, my dislike of Celebi has absolutely nothing to do with the longstanding rivalry of Bulbagarden and Serebii.net. No, my dislike of Celebi can very oddly be directed at an unlikely source. Pokemon 4ever. Before seeing that movie, I didn't like Celebi, but I didn't HATE it. It's a legendary, but it has seven weaknesses, and it's a Grass-type, which as I said, I'm not a fan of. But failing to live up to Mew's standard isn't course for utter hate. You see, I hated Pokemon 4ever so much that it drug Celebi into my hate bin. Celebi itself is just...meh, whatever. But when I think of Celebi, I am reminded of how it is at the source of me losing 90 minutes of my life.|
After Gen II, I took a hiatus from Pokemon. When I came back in Gen III, I was older, wiser, and eager to see what I had been missing. The insane amount of changes brought forth with Gen III revolutionized the series and added new life. I consider Gen III to be the most influential generation since Gen I. It added that much to the series. However, I hammer these points home, because on the flip-side, what Game Freak gave us in content and polish, they took away in features and flow. Gen III has a strong and loyal fanbase...and they're not going to like this section, so I'm going to add a little extra so I can hopefully explain myself, and why I feel the way I do.
I'm glad I played FRLG first because I didn't find Hoenn or RSE to be very engaging. Hoenn in particular I really dislike. SO MUCH SURFING. The latter half of the game was probably supposed to feel like an adventure, but I found it to be boring (yes, I feel the same way about Wind Waker. Hoenn's main issue in my opinion is flow (irony?). You could go the whole game and not even go near Pacifidlog Town. And thanks to Mr. Briney, right off the bat, we skip an entire five routes between Petalburg City, Dewford Town, and Slateport City. In my opinion, that was really unnecessary. We also had day and night get removed, which....why did they do that?
However, Gen III brought some interesting new Pokemon to enjoy. Some of the new Pokemon I am a huge fan of, but it goes without saying that to counter the good, there's plenty of bad. Gen III suffers from a huge problem called "gimmicks" that litter the dex (more on this later). Also, unlike previous generations, there isn't nearly as much nostalgia here for me, AND I compare some of these strongly AGAINST my nostalgia of past generations, so the hate will flow. I understand that Gen III brought a ton of new fans to the game, meaning this was their first outing. But sorry folks, but I calls it likes I sees it.
|Pokémon||Original sprite||Current sprite||Why?|
|Wurmple||I originally had Weedle on the Gen I list, but decided against it for two reasons. First, I realized that the only reason I hated Weedle was that it Poison's you early in the game, and that's more of an issue of Weedle's placement, and less of Weedle itself. Second, it was original. Wurmple is not original, and it Poison's you very early. That's some compounded hate. Let's tack on its random evolutions. You never know what you're going to get from it. How can you prepare to train a Dustox or Beautifly if you don't know what your Wurmple will become (not that you should be training either of them, but I digress)? Wurmple's evolution mechanics are a pointless gimmick that we never needed.|
|Beautifly||Beautifly, but no Dustox. Confused? To be blunt, Dustox sucks, but it's too meh to bother hating. Beautifly though is the poster child for unoriginality. While it admittedly has better(ish) stats than Butterfree, it has none of the charm. Beautifly and Dustox both seem like Game Freak sat down and said "Hey guys, we need some regional bugs." And then they spent ten minutes on Dustox, thinking "Eh, good enough." And then realized lunch was in a couple minutes, so they quick whipped up Butterfree, made it uglier, changed its colors, and called it a day.|
|Pelipper||Pelipper could have been cool. A pelican based Pokémon that is Water/Flying. Sounds great! But no, they gave it abysmally terrible stats, and then shoved Wingull and Pelipper down our throats on every damn water route in the game. I wanted to like Pelipper, but it just seems like a cop-out for avoiding Tentacool surfing backlash. I guess that's where my main hate comes from, disappointment.|
|Masquerain||Let's be clear, Surskit is cool. Surskit is awesome. A unique typing, and it's based on one of my favorite bugs, the Water Strider. Then it evolves and WHAT IS THIS?? Masquerain gets a double whammy from me. It's horribly generic and it completely ruins the awesomeness of Surskit. Why did they have to do this? I don't even think Water Striders become moths in the first place! Please Game Freak, make this right and either evolve Masquerain back into a Water Strider, or give Surskit a split evolution into a more awesome Water Strider.|
|Nosepass||It seems either too easy or too played out to hate Nosepass. It isn't exactly the most loved Pokémon. It's hard to put effort into hating this thing because it's so easy. It looks completely stupid, and it is essentially completely pointless. In Gen III in particular, it seemed like a really ridiculous and unnecessary edition. On the upside, we can just forget about it and let it fade into obscurity. Right? ....right?|
|Delcatty||It's Pokémon like this that make me truly baffled. Seriously, why would they make a Pokémon this bad?? Delcatty falls into the category of "atrociously bad" and there's no excuse for it. I could make the argument that Delcatty is a Gen III copy of Persian, but Persian has character and presence, as well as speed. Certainly not a ferocious Pokémon, but it is miles better than Delcatty. People who don't care about stats and battling love Delcatty, and that's fine, but I'm not one of those people. A Pokemon's definitive job is to battle, and if it can't do it even on a basic level, then I just can't get behind it.|
|Plusle|| Remember when I said Gen III had too many gimmicks? The problem with gimmicks is that they only serve a purpose in a very specific situation. When not in that situation, they tend to be completely useless. Plusle and Minun both fall into this category but manage to break the mold by ALSO being useless even in the job they were made to do. They were introduced, each with their own complimenting abilities, to showcase adorable teamwork in the newly introduced double battles. When doubles were introduced, I was skeptical, but overall, they're fine. I prefer singles, but whatever. There is a problem though...
Why would anybody use two Electric-type Pokémon at the same time? They wouldn't. Plusle and Minun were useless from conception. Individually they are just Pikachu clones (admittedly with better stats) which alone I really don't like. When not in a double battle, they're just outclassed and useless. Volbeat and Illumise also fall into this category, but very narrowly managed to avoid my list.
|Spinda||............I sat here staring at my keyboard, waiting for something to come to me so I could properly describe Spinda, but I can’t think of anything to genuinely explain its pointlessness. I suppose I could say "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Someone at Game Freak realized they could program a Pokémon to have billions of different appearances based on its personality value, so they quick whipped up Spinda, and threw it into the game. I'm actually going to let Smogon explain this one: "Spinda remains a mangled mess, a useless piece of junk that nobody is ever meant to use, simply a remnant of Game Freak's caprice." Gimmick!|
|Whiscash||Another entry in the list of Water/Ground-types. Whiscash has the distinction of being nearly banned from the anime. That situation is simply bad luck for Whiscash (unlike Porygon whom was unfairly framed by Ash’s Pikachu). However, I’d be ok with Whiscash being banned regardless due to how much of a failure it is. It's just a slightly better Quagsire, but that's like saying being Poisoned is better than being Burned.|
|Milotic||When you see a Pokémon with actually good stats sitting on my list, you know there's some bad blood between us. Milotic disappoints me in three respects. First, its Gen III sprite I actually find ironically ugly. A Pokémon supposedly known for its beauty, but that sprite makes it look ridiculous. Second, it's a wall. No one likes a wall. And third, it isn't Gyarados. That might sound odd, but Feebas is the Gen III Magikarp, which means Milotic should be a powerful beast, but instead it's just a wall. Why did they do this? If they had swapped its Special Attack and Special Defense, this wouldn't be an issue. Milotic isn't really a bad Pokémon, but this is another case of hatred from disappointment.|
|Castform||Gimmick! It looks stupid, it has no purpose, it has terrible stats, it secretly eats babies...c’mon, do I need reasons? Everyone should hate Castform. I know some don't, but it's just...so...pointless... It's also late to the party. Weather effects were introduced in Gen II. I know Abilities weren't, but still, no one should care about Castform. Make it go away.|
|Wynaut||Wy? Shut up. No, I’m not doing the joke. Wynaut itself is the victim of its own kin. Wobbuffet is the master of annoyance. Wynaut was seemingly created to either make Wobbuffet a little more likeable with a cuddly prevo, or to give Wobbuffet some additional moves to make it more annoying. Both of these options say to me that Wynaut has no actual purpose. Insult to injury, at one point, Wobbuffet was banned from Nintendo competition, and so was Wynaut, despite being nearly useless and completely inferior to its evolution. Oh Wynaut, you pointless little scamp!|
|Luvdisc||Some Pokémon gain a cult following due to their excellent design. Others due to their superior battle prowess. There's also the niche of being impossibly cute. Luvdisc took a different route. It dared to blaze a noble trail of its own. It wanted to go down in the history book as the most memorable Pokémon of all time! After much effort, it did indeed gain the fan following it deserved...as the worst Pokémon ever created. Hahahahahahahaha...worst of Pokémon of Gen III, and possibly of all time.|
|Regirock|| I hate these guys so much that I don't even feel like explaining why. But I guess I should if only to satiate you, the reader. Here we have legendaries. A trio even. Hmmm, yes. Big mean legendaries...they make some cool noises...I actually enjoyed Lucario and the Mystery of Mew.....sorry, I'm stalling.
Ok, let's get the obvious bit out of the way. They are walls. Boo. I want my legendaries to be beastly and powerful, not these ridiculous anti-fun...things...whatever. A legendary should be a tank to the common Pokemon. They should be bulky but also very powerful. These are just bulky. They sit back and waste your time. Now, I'm not going to sit here and complain about the same stuff as Blissey. There's more to it.
Braille. The language of the blind. I think Braille is pretty cool. A language that can help those without eyesight experience life and get around their unfortunate handicap. That being said, WHY IS A VIDEO GAME USING BRAILLE?? The player can't touch their screen and feel bumps! I just want to make sure I'm clear here, I am not making fun of Braille at all, but I can't fathom why Braille was chosen as a method of "ancient language" in the game. In my opinion, this might be insulting to Braille itself, just like these Pokemon are insulting to the term "legendary."
Generation IV was interesting. It brought one of the best innovations to the series with the Physical/Special move split allowing previously useless Pokemon to finally find some love. It also brought some 3D effects, and gave us the excellent HGSS. On the flip side, Sinnoh just doesn't feel very alive to me, and the story just didn't work for me.
The Pokemon though, well, we got a ton of welcome new evolutions, and some good originals as well, but, you know the drill, not all of them receive my praise.
Updated list coming very soon...
|Pokémon||Original sprite||Current sprite||Why?|
|Infernape||Let's start out Gen IV with a fan favorite. Infernape is a less interesting version Blaziken. Blaziken being awesome means that Infernape is a loser and a wannabe. It's also a monkey, and as stated above in my Aipom bashing, I don't like monkeys. Infernape is just a conglomeration of things I don't like. Pretty personal choice here. Please don't flood me with "but it's such a good Pokémon!" because I don't care how good it is, it's still a Blaziken copy, just less powerful and faster.|
|Kricketune||Although it's easy to hate on early game regional Bugs, if you look at my list, I don't actually hate that many. So why Kricketune? Well, although it has one hell of a dashing mustache, it has a stupid cry that lasts too long, its friggin everywhere in Sinnoh, and it's an otherwise atrocious Pokemon. I'm glad they actually put effort into the Gen V Bugs. Hopefully, no more crap like this.|
|Mothim||Mothim is sort of a placeholder for all of the Burmy and Wormadam Pokemon lines. There is a difference though. While Burmy and Wormadam are gimmicks, and otherwise atrocious, Mothim is so amazingly generic that they didn't even bother to give it a name. It's just a moth...im. C'mon Game Freak, how pressed for time were you to make such a bland and pointless Pokemon? Insanely common type, nothing unique about it's appearance, and it's stats are all amazingly unimpressive.|
|Pachirisu||When I talked about Plusle and Minun, I mentioned "Pikachu clone" which is basically that in every Gen there is a Pokemon that tries to capture the charm of Pikachu. Marill, Plusle and Minun, Pachirisu, and Emolga. Eagle-eyed readers may realize that all of these Pokemon are on my hate list. These Pokemon all exist to just be cute and sell merchandise and therefor I hate them. Pachirisu is easily the one I hate the most though. I don't like squirrels, I think it's annoying, and it has abysmal stats. Also, I don't have a big problem with names that are the same in both Japanese and English, but Pachirisu really doesn't work in English at all.|
|Ambipom||Gen IV gave us a bunch of evolutions of older Pokemon. I'm all for new evolutions. It lets Game Freak fix past mistakes. Problem is, sometimes, no matter how hard they try, it just doesn't work. Ambipom is an evolution of a Pokemon that certainly needed help, but holy crap, this thing looks deranged! Why does it have utters for hands?? Why did they have to make an already stupid and annoying Pokemon even worse?? It's just this creepy, horrid, purple monkey that seems to specialize in annoying people with Fake Out and U-Turn. My most hated of Gen IV. Reading this blurb, you might not think this is my least favorite of Gen IV, but believe me, I can't find proper words to describe how much I hate this thing.|
|Lopunny||..........you can't see the look I'm giving you because sadly we don't have that technology, but I know what you're thinking, and you're a sick person. We're talking about a Pokemon based on "bunny girls" and that's just....wrong. I mean, far be it from me to judge you for what you're into, and if that's your thing, then more power to you, but Lopunny really seems like it was created for the sole intention of being in Poke-porn.|
|Bronzong||Bronzong is a wall, blah blah. There's more to it than that. Bronzong itself I don’t have "that" much hate for. It's what it represents that I take issue with. Bronzong proves that Game Freak don't like Magnemite. Bronzong is a floating steel bell. It is gets Levitate. Why does Bronzong get Levitate but Magnemite doesn't? There is no justice here. It also has Heatproof which means both its abilities deal with increasing its walling capabilities. Bronzong was made for the purpose of keeping it alive while Magnemite is left with misleading Pokedex entries. Screw you, Bronzong.|
|Happiny||It's pretty hard to hate some something with "happy" in its name, but what kind of person would I be if I couldn't? This little runt, like Wynaut, is a victim of its successors. I know why it was made, and I know what purpose it serves, but that doesn't exclude the fact that it lays the foundation for the most heinous of evolutionary lines. By the way, the running joke in the anime that Brock's Happiny was unfathomably powerful was just mind-bogglingly stupid.|
|Munchlax||Annoying. There is nothing this thing doesn't touch that it doesn't come off as annoying. Incidentally, in the main Pokemon games, he is not a huge concern. Slow, dimwitted, etc. But in the anime, he has to eat everyone else's food and be a general jerk. More to my own relation, Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Yes, I hate Munchlax because of a game that isn't even Pokemon. Whether he eats a useful item, or just comes out when you don't want him to, Munchlax just needs to go away. If only we could knock it off the stage like some other Pokemon.|
|Lumineon|| Lumineon – The Filler Pokemon - When making new Pokemon games, Game Freak has to meet certain requirements to fill the Pokedex, including but not limited to an arbitrary number of Water-types, of which Lumineon was created for no reason other than to meet that quota.|
That’s my Pokedex entry for Lumineon. Seriously, it's just a complete waste of space in the dex.
|Lickilicky||It looks stupid, it sounds stupid, it has a really stupid name, and it's an otherwise mundane Normal-type. Lickitung was silly, but oddly likeable. I didn’t like it myself, but I didn’t hate it. This thing though, holy crap, why? Who at Game Freak was determined to sully the innocuous name of Lickitung? First, they banished it off the anime by having Jessie "accidentally" trading it away (unfortunately for the most useless Pokemon ever), and now when they give it a deserved evo, it's just this horrid pink blob of awful. I actually feel bad for Lickitung because it becomes this atrocity.|
|Probopass||*ahem* ......wait a minute... *adjusts tie* .....ok...I think I’m ready..... *deep breath* WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? Look at Probopass. Look at it. Holy crap that looks stupid. I can’t even fathom who thought this was a good idea. They wanted to make an evolution of the horribly useless Nosepass. I don't see why, but clearly, they shouldn't have. People knew I would hate this thing because it's a wall, and while that is true, it should be noted that it is a terrible wall, sporting two quadruple weaknesses. The upside is that with the right attack, you can knock it off the battlefield relatively quickly.|
Oh Gen V. The first Gen I got to see revealed, played, and die. What is there to say other than....Gen V was disappointing. I didn't mind the clean slate of new Pokemon, and anyone who follows me on Twitter knows I really enjoyed B2W2, but other than that...the Gen didn't bring that much to the table. Only two games, one being a sequel to the other, and I'm in the minority that found the BW story to be rather pointless. However, it did set-up B2W2's story, which I really liked, and the music from Gen V is pretty good overall.
The Pokemon? Well, we've got 156 new Pokemon. Some good, some great, some bad, some horrible. Gen V brought some Pokemon that were instant favorites of mine, but on the flip side, there are some truly bizarre decisions by Game Freak this time around. The starters are possibly my least favorite of them all, each bearing some glaring errors. I don't hate Emboar, but why is it yet ANOTHER Fire/Fighting and why is its learnset so void and difficult? Samurott is another Pokemon that I love the design of, but its stats are genuinely baffling. It's based on a samurai, but has more Special Attack and otherwise mundane stats. What happened??? There's more too, but lets start with the one starter I didn't mention here...
|Pokémon||Original sprite||Current sprite||Why?|
|Serperior||Where-as the other two have a bad movepool and typing, and poor stats respectively, Serperior has all three! Again, a good design but a pathetically shallow movepool, a design that looks like it would love to be paired with Dragon, and speed it has no real attacking prowess to use. Game Freak put a lot of effort into the designs of the starters, and that shines through, they all stand out visually, but when it came to program them, someone was asleep at the keyboard. Snivy is so cool he is meme worthy, but Serperior is just failed expectations. It coulda been a contender!|
|Watchog||One thing I hate is early game status abusers. This forgettable, boring, nothing with its horrendously bland stats looks ridiculously stupid, looooves to use Hypnosis, and doesn't hesitate to use Super Fang, all the while showing up EVERYWHERE in Unova. Seriously, something that should be long forgotten after about mid-game is still on some late-game routes! Why??? Another minor complaint is that it doesn't even give two EVs making it extra useless for training.|
|Musharna||Munna and Musharna, in my faux-professional opinion, are some of the ugliest looking Pokemon of them all. Sure, some people might call them cute, but Munna looks like a demonic floating elephant crossed with a little girl's pillow, and those bug-eyes on Musharna are downright frightening, while the pink vomit coming out of its head is just absurd. It is insanely slow, but it is also reasonably powerful. Don't fret though, it's far more likely to put you to sleep. Joy! I will give it credit though, grabbing a Munna in Dreamyard with Synchronize and a good Nature really helped grab some Pokemon with the desired Nature, but that could be said about any Synchronize user. Munna was just right place, right time.|
|Roggenrola||Sturdy and Explosion. 'Nuff said.|
|Swoobat||Zubat is annoying because it bothers you every five steps, but it at least has the decency to evolve into a good Pokemon. Woobat also loves to bug you every five steps, but opts to not evolve into anything remotely useful. Woobat and Swoobat are amongst my most hated of Gen V. I find them annoying on both a wild and battle basis, as well as having fantastically useless stats, and being disastrously ugly. Yes, another Pokemon some people consider cute, but not me. Moreover, Swoobat has some of the most pathetic stats for a fully evolved Pokemon in the series. It's fast and....that's it. Don't think you can rest easy when around it because while it can't do direct damage, it's another Pokemon that loooves status.|
|Audino||Ooooh boy. *Rubs hands together* The Gen V version of Chansey and Blissey. I'll put it this way, Audino's purpose is to make the game easier. It's found everywhere, it gives a ton of experience, and its moves consist of healing everything. It has terrible stats, I think it looks stupid, and it doesn't actually serve a discernible purpose (other than to die for our benefit). Audino doesn't need to exist, and I wish it didn't. (U mad Umeko?)|
|Seismitoad||A more normal Pokemon for a change. As a fan of Magnemite, it's natural for me to dislike Water/Ground-types. It's a forbidden type combo, but rightfully so, I respect a Pokemon that does it right. Swampert is so far the only one that isn't terrible. Why is it that of all the Water/Ground-types, they all have nearly the same exact stats? High HP, middling everything else. Seriously, go check them all, I'll even link them for you. Quagsire, Whiscash, Gastrodon. See that? Even Swampert follows the trend, it's just buffed enough to actually work. Seismitoad is the same, but with the added annoyance of Poison Touch (Btw, what's the point of Poison Touch? We already have Poison Point!).|
|Darmanitan Zen Mode||Dear Game Freak, enough with the formes. If you're gonna have a Pokemon with stats that differ THIS MUCH and even give it AN EXTRA DAMN TYPE then seriously, SPLIT EVOLUTION. More to the point, It only works when its HP gets to half, so you have to have both Physical moves to get yourself to Zen Mode, and then Special attacks while IN Zen Mode. This is insanely pointless. I think having formes all over the place is dumb as it is, but this really defines the issue. Also, Zen Mode looks stupid, but you probably saw that coming.|
|Emolga||Emolga bothers me for a number of reasons, but don't worry, I don't think Emolga is ugly (though its name sure is). Emolga is Game Freak's attempt at making a novelty Pokémon that doesn't suck. And they failed. Emolga sucks. It's like a much worse version of Serperior, it's fast but can't do anything with it's speed. Unlike Serperior, it doesn't even get any defense to play with. However, being a bad Pokemon isn't the only thing that I dislike about Emolga. It's because its a flying squirrel, an animal so ridiculous that it deserves to be made into a quality Pokemon, not some novelty garbage.|
|Amoonguss||Fake items have been around since Gen I, and they're here to stay. They're annoying, but they add a little something extra and overall don't really bother me that much. However, the Pokemon that represent fake items have a nasty habit of being really stupid. Incidentally, if you flip Electrode's stats upside-down, you nearly get Amoonguss' stats. Also, Electrode has Static while Amoonguss has Effect Spore, allowing both of them to give you a crippling status! However, while Electrode is just a big ball with a face on it, Amoonguss is just...ugly. Also, Amoonguss has a stupid cry and a stupid name.|
|Jellicent||When I first saw Jellicent, I actually liked it a lot. I don't think the male version looks that bad (seriously, respect the 'stache). A Water/Ghost typing is cool and suits a translucent thing like a jelly fish. Then I saw it's stats and I felt like I'd been stabbed by a box jellyfish. Aside from being fairly terrible, they're nearly the exact same as Tentacruel! THE OTHER JELLYFISH BASED POKEMON. The only difference is that instead of speed, it gets HP. Hooray? Jellicent itself is meh, but the fact its stats are nearly identical to Tentacruel is just....cruel. Also, the female version looks creepy.|
|Alomomola||Hey, its the Luvdisc evolution that isn't a Luvdisc evolution! .......why? Why does Alomomola have to exist? If it were a Luvdisc evo, then we could at least know that Luvdisc's uselessness was not in vain (just), but instead we now have two atrociously bad heart shaped fish (ok, Alomomola isn't as bad as Luvdisc, but still). It looks stupid, it has no purpose, and it has a really stupid name.|
|Eelektross||Eelektross having a pointless extra E in its name is enough for me to dislike it, but what it comes down to is that it Levitates for no reason at all. It's hard to tell from it's sprite on the left, but in the game, it is clearly hanging out on the ground. But it does have Levitate, which means it has no weakness, which is really stupid because it doesn't even have great defenses to be a wall. If they wanted to make an electric eel, then just make a Water/Electric and be done with it.|
|Stunfisk||Why....who.....what is this supposed to be??? This really does check off just about the whole list of crap I hate in a Pokemon. It is unfathomably ugly, it has terrible(ish) stats (wasting its unique type combo), what stats it does have are geared towards walling (ugh...), it has Static, a stupid cry, a bafflingly popular fan following, uuhhhhh what else....ah, and it has a really dumb name. I admit, there's some good photoshop jokes of Stunfisk, but I'd gladly trade all of them for Stunfisk to never exist. This is my most hated Pokemon of Generation V, and one my most hated Pokemon in the entire series.|
|Mandibuzz||Mandibuzz bothers me on a few specific levels. First, its a defensive Pokemon, and we all know I hate them. Second, same type as Honchkrow, but opposite stats. Third, Vullaby and Mandibuzz are difficult to even SEE in White and White 2. Fourth, I don't like its name. And lastly, IT'S A VULTURE AND IT'S DEFENSIVE. Mandibuzz could have been awesome, a strong evil vulture, but they decided to go with an ugly defensive vulture. WHY?? Mandibuzz was apparently added late in game development, but they should have just left it out, retooled it, and brought it back next time around.|
Coming not very soon...